Dixie Fix

New Year, New Calendar

I don't understand keeping your calendar on the computer...it's so much easier to just glance at the calendar to check or add something. For me. Luddite that I am.

I keep my calendar in the kitchen and I notice most people I know do, too. Usually a home office is tucked away, while the kitchen is always a hub of activity.

Calendars are so personal, and usually reflect a choice of something to look at 12 months a year. Dog breeds, flowers, birds, yoga -- no matter your interest there is a calendar that reflects it. And if you're just a little patient and didn't receive a calendar as a gift, they will ALL be on sale in just a few days!

When I worked at The Register, my colleagues and I always had a calendar exchange at the holidays. We would draw names and you would try to figure out the perfect calendar for that person. (Better than a gift exchange where you end up with another coffee mug or a candle!)

My 2009 calendar is about songbirds; it even had bird calls you could press at the bottom. My 2010 calendar is Nevada County-centric, featuring beautiful photos by Dave McKay.

About the time I take down the Christmas Tree (sniff, sniff) I also transfer all the birthdays and occasions from the old calendar to the new one. That's always a trip down Memory Lane as I remember different parties, dinners, vacations, kayak trips....I love the thought that a whole year is ahead of me and I don't have a clue what it holds!

Thinking of a Word for the Year; Goodbye Claire

Molly Fisk, Nevada County's Poet Laureat, had a post on Facebook that got me thinking. She says to come up with one word to describe the next year. Rather than a resolution, per say, just a word that you can reflect on to guide you through the year.

I'm a fan of "what comes up" and the word that keeps simmering in my brain is Simplify. I think that's a good one for me and one that will be helpful throughout 2010. It can apply not only to possessions (I have too many) to life decisions. I think sometimes I can over think or complicate things, when the simple answer is the best.

Has a word been popping up for you as you read this? Then that is probably the one you want to choose. Share it!

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Today at 11 a.m. is Claire Grondona's service at St. Canice in Nevada City. Claire had a heart as big as the Grand Canyon and the people of North San Juan, especially, loved her holiday community dinners at the Firehouse. Claire used to call me, and sometimes I would answer the phone and she would say, "Has anybody told you they loved you today?" and regardless of my answer, she would say, "I do!" in that distinctive raspy voice of hers. She left us way too soon -- she was only 65. We used to talk about meeting at church and going out for coffee. Sadly, we never did, and it is with a heavy heart that I will catch up with her in church today.

So, if you've been putting off seeing someone in your life, let this be a lesson for you, too. It's bittersweet that we're finally meeting at St. Canice -- for her funeral.

Reports that Van Morrison had become a father again at 64 resulted from a hoax apparently because the singer's website was hacked, according to Agence France-Press.

Watch Van Morrison clips in our Online Video Guide

Morrison said in a statement Thursday that the post stating that he fathered a child, George Ivan Morrison III, with wife-manager Gigi Lee was "utterly without foundation." He doesn't even know a Gigi Lee.

"Claims were made relating to my personal life in a 'statement' purporting to come from me," the statement read. "Once these claims were brought to our attention, they were taken down from the site. The comments ... did not come from me."

The statement was issued on Morrison's behalf by the Dublin branch of the U.S.-based public relations firm Fleishman-Hillard Inc. Morrison's Hollywood-based representative, Phil Lobel, told The Associated Press in an e-mail Thursday that the original announcement was based on the hacked website posting and "all those with Van Morrison regret any confusion this may have caused."

See more photos of Morrison

John Saunders, senior partner of the PR firm in Europe, said Morrison doesn't know anyone named Gigi Lee. "None of it is true," Saunders told RTÉ Radio's News at One, adding that this was the second hacking incident in three months. "When I spoke to Van a short while ago I said, like, do you even know this person and he has never heard the name at any stage in the past. He doesn't know who this person is."

Morrison's statement went on to say that he remains "very happily married" to former Miss Ireland Michelle Rocha, with whom he has two children.

Twenty Ten? Or Two Thousand Ten? You decide!

That was one of the debates last night at our New Year's Eve Party at Miners Foundry....what do we call this year? Since we just bid farewell to two-thousand nine, it makes sense that the next year is two thousand ten, right? Not so fast.

In this morning's SF Chronicle -- the antiquated paper/dead tree edition -- a local grammarian has decreed that this year shall be officially called "Twenty Ten". He says the last decade should have been "Twenty Ought," or "Twenty oh oh"  because twenty logically follows nineteen.

The grammarian points out that no one would ever say, "I was born in one-thousand, nine hundred and fifty three," one would say "nineteen fifty-three."

On the other hand, think of the Arthur C. Clark novel, "2001, A Space Odyssey." Would you pronounce it "Twenty Oh One: A Space Odyssey"?

Of course there are plenty of more pressing problems in the universe, like terrorism and global warming, but someone needs to settle what we call this year and subsequent years so we can get on with it!

One of the greatest things about our party last night (a 10-couple steering committee of Bridge Street residents and irregulars put this shindig on) was knowing most of the people in the room and getting warm hugs from friends, coupled with "I love you, man!"

All in all, a pretty positive way to begin a sparkling New Year. I wish everyone their best year yet. Let the adventures begin!

A Great Vibe at the New/Old 5 Mile House

Finally made it in to check out the restaurant since it has changed hands. Actually, we went to see Slow Hand, the band fronted by James Carlson. All are great musicians and play a lot of original material!

The restaurant was crowded (amazing on the night before New Year's Eve) and everyone agreed the food was terrific! I talked to Robert Smith (the owner) and he's worried about the winter months -- so try to drop in there to help him out. It is much more of a "roadhouse" now, but with excellent food. Prices are below what the old owners had.

Remember to help out our local businesses if you can!

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Here's an interesting one: Van Morrison's wife, Gigi, is pregnant. This is remarkable only because Van is 64! I don't know how I feel about that -- will the child have a father very long?

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Have a fabulous New Year's Eve!! Are you making resolutions? One of mine is to have more unique experiences in 2010, including those outside my comfort zone. I always love that the new year signals new beginnings and you can make major changes if you're willing to work at it. Did you know that if you read just 20 minutes a day you will read about 10 books a year? So, if you chose a subject, you could be an "expert" on it by 2011. What are your resolutions? If you hate them, why? Do other cultures handle the New Year differently?

Dixiefix is Back!

And today's topic is about the limbo that happens after the fighting is over. An explanation: In 1994, a very bad year for me, I was diagnosed with cancer not once, but twice! First was the melanoma, which required 2 surgeries, but was "clear margins" and thus OK. Six months later it was breast cancer, found on a mammogram. That took a lot more work -- lumpectomy, chemo (including all hair gone!) and radiation, followed by years of Tamoxifen and Evista. Once the radiation was over and my hair started growing back, I was left with a weird feeling: no more "treatment." Did that mean the fight was over? Now what?! It's a very strange place to be in...and of course, the waiting to see if the cancer will return.

Other than raising teenage girls (an 11 on a scale of difficulty) I never had that feeling again until this week. What happened? I reached my Weight Watchers "goal weight." I started at the end of June 2009 as a summer project. Joined WW, stepped up the exercize, and proceeded on my weight loss journey. It ended (!) on Tuesday, when I reached my goal weight on the scale --- 47 pounds gone! I think about trying to carry around 47 pounds of potatoes -- or anything -- and it's unbelievable that's what I lost.

But that same feeling is there. Now what?! It's kind of a letdown to "maintain" my new weight, rather than seeing the smaller numbers on the scale every week. Will I be successful with maintenance? Can I keep the weight from coming back? Is this a true "lifestyle change" and not just a diet? That's the scary part. My focus is now changed.

In Weight Watchers-speak, that is called "reframing." Changing the focus, looking at it differently. But it's not quite the fight I was in, now that I am actually at the finish line!

Has anyone had a similar feeling?

On to books and movies! I am on book 4 of the Twilight series. I know it is teenage girl stuff, but I always like to understand what the grandkids are talking about. Fascinating that it is written by a Mormon. Bella doesn't sleep with Edward until book 4, so the romance is drawn out a bit. Now we've got werewolves involved, and the little half-human, half vampire Renesmee.

As for movies, there are lots of fabulous one out right now. Avatar, Invictus and Up in the Air, to name 3 that are still playing. If you're wondering about the title of Invictus, it's the name of a poem that Mandala read in his jail cell. You'll recognize it.

So, on to 2010! I'll try to update this daily. so please let me know if there are topics you want to hear about.

For those of you who knew the force of nature that was Claire  Grondona, her memorial service/funeral is Saturday, Jan. 2 at 11 a.m. at St. Canice. I'm sure Claire will be "watching!"

Hanging Out With 'Olive Kitteridge'

Any book that wins the Pulitzer Prize and a zillion other awards is worth a read...and I must say, the title of "Olive Kitteridge" did nothing to make me want to read it. But when fellow reader Karen ("Sylia Plath") pressed it into my hand in exchange for "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo" I knew I would read it. But I knew, because it came from Sylvia, that it may not be "cheery."

We've all known an Olive, in our lives and small towns. She has good and bad qualities and we either like her -- or don't. Check. She has a complicated relationship with her older son. Check.

The genius of the book is that it is told in short story form. Some of the stories are from Olive's perspective, others are from those who know her. In short, we get that great all around picture of what others think of her vs. what she thinks of herself and how she perceives others see her. We should all be so lucky!!

At first I didn't really like Olive (the person) but by the end of the book I understood her a little better and was rooting for her happiness.

I would also recommend "Dragon Tattoo," and "The Help." I read Dan Brown's newest, "The Lost Symbol," and while it was a page-turner, I was disappointed in it, generally. Just too contrived, although it made me curious about the Masons. My father was a Mason and now I'm intrigued about the order.

My close personal friends on Twitter, Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore, both recommended "The Shack," so I guess that's next. On Tuesday there will be new releases by 2 of my favorites: Patricia Cornwell and David Baldacci.

What Happened at the Newspaper Tuesday Afternoon?

My sources tell me it was a physical brawl between an executive of the paper and an irate father who objected to something local that ran on the Opinion Page....if you go back to that day I'll bet you can figure it out...the rumor is that a broken finger was the result of the fight. It has been all the buzz around town!

Why Do Bullies Act the Way They Do?

We've all known people who bully -- it's a definite type. They've been in the news a lot lately, especially Internet bullying. It's easy to put people down in an Internet format rather than face-to-face, although some bullies seem to relish face to face conflict.

The San Francisco Chronicle recently ran a great story titled "Why Bosses Might Bully." Here is the lede of the story: "Bosses who feel incompetent are more likely to bully subordinates, according to a study being published in the journal Psychology Science. It goes on to say that "leaders who are in over their heads tend to resort to browbeating to protect their egos."

I always suspected that feelings of inadequacy were behind bullying in general. When people are happy and their life is going well, they usually don't feel the need to criticize everyone and everything. I've noticed that unhappy people tend to spread that unhappiness through their negative personality. That's why I avoid people whom I consider "toxic." 

Have you been bullied? Do you have theories about bullying?

The Buffalo Saga Continues -- Not So Happily

This was e-mailed to me Tuesday afternoon....

Subject: Buffalo crisis for animal lovers... Lee

Date: Mon, 19 Oct 2009 17:01:39 -0400

To all:

As you know, the buffalo mom and baby girl, who escaped, had returned home on Wednesday. The owner, Mr. Dugger, had a slaughterer call me while they were on the loose. He said if I did not purchase the animals, he was instructed to hunt them down, shoot them and slaughter them. I said I could not buy them, but I would take them. He agreed and a paper was faxed to me, "gifting" them to me. My efforts had already begun to find them, borrow a tranquilizer gun from UC Davis, and move them to a secure, safe location until I found a suitable home.So many of you generously volunteered to help.

 

After the MIRACLE of "the girls" returning home, I had been calling and e-mailing Mr. Dugger for two days so we could pick them up and take them to a hobby  buffalo ranch in Placer County. The ranch manager had contacted me when they read the owner was going to shoot them and offered to take them into their herd of 27. The ranch is 2000 acres that they put into a land conservation trust, 345 acres of it is fenced for the buffalo. I went to look at it and it was WONDERFUL. We were so excited to take "the girls" there where they could live out their lives. It was also bittersweet because we would miss them so much, and we had developed a relationship where they would come right up to us, we handfed them and we could even tough them. But we knew it was the best for them, especially the female, who is still obviously lonely and grieving for her mate, Billy. 

 

After 3 days of no response from the owner, I was referred to a fantastic, retired animal loving/activist lawyer, Joan, who counseled with me at no charge. The plan was set, according to what the law requires, to give the owner notice that we would be at his property at 1 pm yesterday to take possession of the animals, and the consequences to him for not surrendering them, one of which, was to file a complaint for animal neglect for Billy, the male's death. Finally Mr. Dugger responded and said he would be there, but it was not amicable.

 

We showed up yesterday, and while waiting for the professional handler to arrive, a truck pulled into the driveway with a sign: Bear River Slaughter, the same guy who had contacted me before. Frantically. I immediately called the sherrif's department and Joan. Bob jumped out of our truck and ran to the slaughterer and told him he had better not touch those animals as we owned them. He proceeded to tell us that Mr Dugger was the owner, and he was there to shoot and slaughter "the girls" on the spot if we did not pay the owner $4000.

 

Three sheriff's trucks arrived, and I was on the phone to Joan. We had the document showing Mr. Dugger  had given the buffalo to us, but he disputed it's validity. The sheriff informed Mr. Dugger and the slaughterer, that they could not claim ownership, it needed to be determined by a judge, and they should not harm those animals in the meantime. If it were determined we owned them, they would be liable. The slaughterer left, and Mr. Dugger  said he would not do anything. Mr. Dugger complained to the sheriff that we were feeding the buffalo, trespassing on his property by throwing their food over the fence, and that we might poison them or give them bad food. The sheriff advised us to not feed them over the weekend, and Mr.Dugger mentioned  that if they were to die suddenly, it would be our fault. The sherrif said he could have the buffalo hauled off his property without our having the benefit of having their bodies tested, as we did with Billy. The comment and idea of the animals "suddenly dying" made us very frightened to leave them there without our being able to watch over them or even feed them.

 

When Bob and I told the slaughterer that $4000 was a ridiculous price, he said," well, make an offer and this will go away." We told him we would be in touch with Mr. Dugger by e-mail.  After agonizing about it, and fearing something would happen to those animals over the weekend and Monday, before we could do anything legally, we decided to make him an offer. One of you generously came up with $1000 to include Whiskey, the donkey, in with the offer. If Mr. Dugger would shoot and slaughter the buffalo, he could do the same to Whiskey. Hopefully, if a judge determines we are the owner, we can go to small claims court and get the money back for the buffalo. But we have heard no response from the owner and our offer expired.

 

Tomorrow we will move forward with another attorney who has been sympathetic to the situation, who we hope will help us. Joan can only advise, since she is retired. We ask for your prayers for us for strength and guidance and for these two innocent, sweet buffalo.

 

Thank you all for your support and I am sure I will be calling on you to help in this effort. Just a phone caIl, e-mail or letter from enough caring people can make a big difference in the outcome. I'll be in touch.

Kathy Labelle